Ernie Reyes for the win: This is the first but not the last time that the father and son combo of Ernie Reyes Sr. and … Not since the end of Stanley Kubrick's Paths of Glory has a collection of warriors and fighters seemed so powerful and so moving, I dare you not to shed a tear while watching this awesome display. Look who I'm talkin' to.NC: Yes inspired poet, let us all look into the deepest areas of our soul and see who we are talking to.

The Grinch vs. me and my brothers- Okay. Perhaps its only new contribution to this genre of martial arts mayhem occurs when one of the good guys defeats one of the evil ninjas by ramming chopsticks up the villain's nostrils. Patu San is now ruled by the vicious tyrant Colonel Chi, a half-man, half-machine, played limply by Leslie Nielsen. Cody Maverick interview, take one. Brothers don't surf! Not fumes from the cracks of the Earth like the Oracle, not an enchanted fountain like the Mirror of Galadriel, but rather a Sega Game Gear that shows Adam exactly what's gonna happen in a matter of seconds.NC: It's like the legends of Greek mythology live again!NC (voiceover): Also notice the use of Playboy magazines here, even though this is so obviously a children's film.NC: Always pushing the envelope this movie, challenging us with the THREAT...of sexual arousal.NC (voiceover): So Zatch takes Johnny, Adam and of course adorable Iggy, to the center headquarters of all the Pahtisan people...a Chinese restaurant.Zatch: Best Pahtisany food in LA.NC (voiceover): There, Johnny is introduced to his future wife, who is arranged to marry him. Rated PG, the movie has the usual sort of martial arts roughness inflicted by flying fists and feet. Well I'll tell you how.NC is surrounded by a background of clouds and the word genius, and is shirtless, with the word genius on his chest, while he flails his arms and feels himself in ecstasyNC: GEEENIUS!NC (voiceover): So finally we get to the big showdown with Leslie Nielsen and warrior Johnny. It may seem like he's standing in that spot on purpose, or even getting under the elephant for no apparent reason, but my thought is that it's much like Botan and the shattering of his spear. Bringing into the light a stereotype I didn't even know existed! Johnny and Adam McQuinn are contented beach bums. I CHALLENGE you to say no!NC (voiceover): Also note Leslie Nielsen's look of absolute evil when he approaches young Zatch.NC: That still haunts my nightmares.NC (voiceover): So Nielsen gets knocked over and gets half of his face squashed by an elephant. But no, this is an original construct of unbelievable power, casting nothing short but the best of Hollywood's acting talent. at our grandfather's cabin. Put my face on a stamp, fifty cent piece, and let's call it a day.NC tears upNC (voiceover): And what epic masterpiece wouldn't be complete without...They start singing Baba Ram againNC (voiceover): Another rendition of Baba Ram, as Baba Ram himself sings the song wearing a beautiful necklace of yak testicles.NC: So that's Surf Ninjas, one of the greatest movies, no no, greatest THINGS of all time. The two brothers are surfer dudes from Southern California who want to devote their lives to surfing, skateboarding and playing video games. I'm Charles Foster Kane!Adam: We just wanna drive. How can a movie be so great, so wonderful and so unbelievably groundbreaking? As if this film hasn't taken enough risks already, they actually dare to make a brave anti-smoking statement, in the middle of a chase scene no less!Cop: Cigarettes?Zatch: Yeah yeah, I know I should quit!Iggy: Maybe you should get the patch. Coronavirus in Florida is out of control; Connecticut needs to start paying attention, SCSU diver from Meriden, Jaylon Nixon, killed in car crash, Shopping malls already faced a rough road in an online world, but the coronavirus pandemic made it even rockier. But unfortunately, a la Saved By the Bell, he has totally forgotten about the assignment.Johnny: I've got nothing.NC: Already the film has sucked you in with its gut-wrenching suspense. So much so that it might be a severe challenge for adults to surf their way through its choppy 87 minutes. ... Rate it: (0.00 / 0 votes) National Lampoon Presents: Surf Party John 'J.D.' Knock knock, who's there, genius!NC (voiceover): After the chase scene, Zatch gives them all sacred headbands made out of tie-dye shirts and sends what's left of their bodacious army to the villain's evil fortress. Here, we hear more of the characters' wonderful dialogue as they quote such timeless phrases that will no doubt never age.Montage of stupid linesNC: How could they have predicted that phrases like "psyche" and "pumpin'" would be words used even to this day? -People can't fly. Grandpa will teach us to fly

Quiet on the set. Quiet on the set. Aw, you mean those toilets at construction sites? But if, for some unaccountable reason, some grownup somewhere just can't suppress a desire to see it either with or without kids, at least wait until it comes out on videocassette. How fascinating. But that's because you're not seeing the true symbolic meaning behind what looks like a gigantic load of elephant dung.NC: For if we look at Surf Ninjas with open eyes and critical analysis, we may see something deeper than even the filmmakers could have possibly imagined. Surf Ninjas subtitles. And you've already got

Schneider is so utterly convincing as a nerd with a million insufferable, nerdy jokes that he becomes the movie's major annoyance -- no small achievement. Once is more than enough for this sordid sort of cross-breeding of surfing and karate, which here produces an offspring that might best be described as a mutant ninja turkey. That is to indicate that Leslie Nielson is the bad guy.Scenes from Citizen KaneNC (voiceover): I'm often reminded of the low angle shots in Citizen Kane, the greatest movie of all time.Kane: Don't you walk away from me! And we're rolling. My bad!NC: Oh, I had the most horrible dream! NC (voiceover): First of all, I should point out that this came out one year after Three Ninjas, which came out one year after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle films. And we're rolling. Surf Ninjas Ernie Reyes Jr. What happened to me?Bhargav: You got shot in the head pretty good there, Nostalgia Critic.NC: But...how, how did it happen?Rob: Oh, that was me. When I get back to the hood won't NONE of the homies talk to me again.NC: Yes! Zatch (Ernie Reyes Sr.), a good ninja warrior, acts as the boys' guide and guardian angel as he takes them back to Patu San where they are to overthrow Colonel Chi and be restored to the royal throne. "PG" - Parental guidance suggested, due to … Wh... We spent last summer training -People can't fly. And I'm never, ever gonna like anything ever, ever again!He turns to the camera and lip-synchs to Somewhere Over the Rainbow; the credits come up, but then they are suddenly taken awayNC: But wait a minute! -Your lev... As always, this summer started with Notice also that the ninjas, rather than get up and fight some more, roll out of the way as if to say "I had my chance, and now, I must let others take my place. Nielsen, who was so hilarious in "Airplane!" Grandpa wanted to give And what device does he use to harness his visions? Because there's no movie like Surf Ninjas! (all agree) That was stupid.The credits come up again, asking "Do you accept Optimus Prime as your lord and savior?". Lacrosse season Let's take a look.NC (voiceover): First of all, I should point out that this came out one year after Three Ninjas, which came out one year after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle films. The film stars Ernie Reyes Jr., Rob Schneider, Nicolas Cowan and Leslie Nielsen. In any other film, this would look positively retarded. This my friends, is one of those movies. They take surfing so seriously that they even treat their car as a surfboard, rowing their way to school, not caring how no one has their hand on the steering wheel, putting dozens of lives at risk.NC: Those lovable rapscallions!NC (voiceover): They're excited because Johnny's giving a speech at school about a visiting monk named Baba Ram. Alderwood Village 12, Broadway Market, Metro, Renton Village, Gateway Center 8. we always do, at our grandpa's cabin. A film that dares to take risks, be different, and NOT succumb to the rules and boundaries that Hollywood has set up for them. I am of course referring to the indescribable genius...of Surf Ninjas.Footage of Surf NinjasNC (voiceover): Now many of you may look at this film and say "Hey, this is the worst piece of shit I've ever paid money to see." If I got shot in the head, then how did I survive?Mike, Rob and Bhargav all turn to look at something; the camera reveals it is Optimus PrimeNC: Optimus Prime?Optimus: Remember...I died for your sins.NC: ...you know I really should've put him in the Top 11 Saddest Nostalgic Moments. That should throw off the military armed goons! Surf Ninjas is a 1993 American family comedy film involving martial arts, directed by Neal Israel and written by Dan Gordon. Yes, I seem to be having an overwhelming amount of GENIUS!NC (voiceover): So our heroes infiltrate the heavily guarded fortress armed not with swords, not with guns, but with giant yellow flags. It's what we do. Why are you guys here Drury 2013 I shot you in the head, sorry.Flashback to the end of Top 11 Saddest Nostalgic Moments vid, where NC is shotRob (offscreen): Sorry! SURF NINJAS, Directed by Neal Israel; screenplay by Dan Gordon; directors of photography, Arthur Albert and Victor Hammer; music composed by David Kitay. But it's not. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? Which is quite daring, because many people could mistake this for an even worse rip-off of the Ninja Turtle franchise. Meanwhile we learn that little Adam has the whimsical power to see images of the future. How will Johnny get out of the speech if he has nothing prepared? a trip to Grandpa's cabin. Part of their inheritance are magically-induced martial arts prowess. It's not that "Surf Ninjas" is too agonizing for a devoted, loving parent to sit through with his or her kids. So they take the jeep, while fighting off the other soldiers using the ninja's most ancient weapon of battle: dynamite. Including famed dramatic actor Leslie Nielsen, whose film work is still considered to be at the height of cinematic excellence.Montage of movie posters for some of his less...well, good rolesNC (voiceover): And who can forget that legendary screen presence Ernie Reyes, Jr. whose incredible performances as Menito in The Rundown, and cemetery warrior number 2 in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, still brings chills to the moviegoing public.NC: And of course, one of the gems of American cinema, who is said to be the Marlon Brando of his generation, the master himself...Rob Schneider.NC (voiceover): For indeed, how can anyone not swoon when he delivers such lines as:Rob Schneider: She's afraid to show it, she's...probably not very attractive.NC (voiceover): And how could you not cry as he recites in all his brilliant majesty:Rob Schneider: (bad Scottish accent) Don't make me come out there and beat you with the leg of mine that no longer works, cause I'll do it!NC (voiceover): And how could you, in all honesty, not orgasm at the delivery of such awesome power when he says:Rob Schneider: I've got two words to say to you: David Carradine in Kung Fu.NC: (gasp) Our hearts are with you, perceptive angel.NC (voiceover): So at the beginning of this EPIC masterpiece, we find two brothers named Johnny and Adam.

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